Stop Doing This To Pregnant Women Now!
It feels like I shouldn’t even have to say this, but for the love of all things, stop telling pregnant mamas horror stories about birth! It does zero good, especially when you’re talking to a first time mama. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to politely ask people to please stop or please refrain from telling me birth horror stories. I know that for most part it completely comes from a good place, concern and love, but it does way more harm than good.
Everyone’s story is valid and everyone has a right to tell that story — good or bad! However, women, especially first time pregnant mamas, have enough anxiety on their plate simply based on the unknown of birth and pregnancy with everything that is going on inside and outside of their body for 9 months. When other mamas only talk about the bad or negative birth stories it creates more anxiety, stress and fear which is complete opposite of what they need.
Unfortunately, Hollywood has played a terrible role in our image and thoughts about birth — so much so that I fast forward and even turn off dramatized births because the woman is always screaming and is always so negative. It’s engrained in our brains that birth has to be this awful thing we have to go through, and it’s quite frustrating.
It’s as if negative birth stories are a badge of honor. People love to hear a juicy story that’s dramatic and scary more than they love to hear a story about a beautiful birth that went well and was positive. Think about it! When’s the last time someone told you their birth story that was empowering & beautiful? It’s uncommon.
We must start talking about pregnancy and birth in a positive way to empower those who are going through it. The fact that everyone has been told from a young age through movies, TV and sadly other women that birth is a negative event is baffling. The reality is no two birth stories and experiences are alike and there’s a lot of mental preparation that a mama has to do before labor and birth. Rather than telling them something that may cause anxiety and fear, tell them that they can do this, they are strong and give them the strength they need. If you don’t have a positive birth story to share then don’t say anything to them at all. Save your story for another place and a more appropriate time.
I’m currently 25 weeks pregnant and I thank you in advance for keeping any negative stories to yourself and welcome all the encouragement, love, empowerment and strength throughout the remainder of my pregnancy. Thank you!